Monday, November 9, 2009

did you know that on google maps, howarts is only fifty-three minutes away from narnia?


Its not anything that I can control, and I hate that. Lying here, in a tangle of trust, is not something I can manipulate, and see past. It’s deeper than words, its about a betrayal of some kind, not any kind that I can recognise, but a kind that went deeper than words.

In a world of fakes, dare to be real. This is real, and I don’t like it. This is raw emotion coming out of every pour. Hurt and trust. Forgiveness and happiness. For a while it seems like, this is the end of the innocent happiness that we had been enjoying, the type  of innocent joy that we feel. 

This is love. This is what love feels like, when it has gone wrong, it feels like it has turned its back on you, left you, empty, cold, no where to go. Alone. Trust is a cob web, that you have to build, it starts out as you dangling from one thin strand, you have to climb back up, and start building.

Life doesn’t stop for anybody, so even if you fall, even if all your cobwebs break, you have to keep going, and you can’t look back. Even as I am writing this, I am thinking about how thin the cobwebs that hold me and my friends together are. How the fakeness that holds them together, is destroying them. 

that black pit ain't going away till i make it. wish me luck. 
im not even sure why its there. 

x's and o's from my over emotional state, thank you for putting up with it


Phoebe! said...

I love the way you write, it's really poetic.
I hope all the messiness of your life gets better soon!
much love

Loz said...

I love love love this post!
Hope stuff gets better :)

Janice said...

catherine :)
thank you so much for your comment
and hahahaha it is so hot!
crazy and it's not even summer yet!
i hope things get better for you too!

Kipa said...

Beautiful blog =) you have a way with words.
I hope all the drama in your life ends soon =)