Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What's the Story Morning Glory

you know you're my saving grace. 
sometimes i wonder about you. 

its the smaller things that matter, its the small signs that matter, the small actions that change things
the small actions that changed you, changed me. well, i actually think it was you that changed me. 

sometimes do you lie awake, thinking, listening to all the sounds.  because i do. i make up conversations that will never happen,  i talk to you like a never could.  in a weird way,  i think you're kind of pretty. 

times are hard for dreamers
and now im scared. someone save me. someone be my rock. someone help. im terrified. 

today was good, then bad, then good, then bad. my heart is filled with love for people. my heart is filled with love for those who make me feel happy inside. 
i was going to tell you about my day, but i wouldn't know what to say. love you pretty darn cool (ish) people. bye bye. 

i want you. no, i need you. i just fucking need you to hold me. its scary. really scary. im scared of myself and im scared of you. you, because you mean so much to me. your arms around me are safe, comforting. just don't go away, okay? promise. im terrified of the day when you realise who i am. what a fucking freak i am.  remember that day when i told you i loved you? if you had put your hand to my heart, you would have felt it beating a thousand times a second. you would have realised what the look in my eyes meant. sometimes i picture you lying beside me and i feel heaven. i feel a heaven i dont understand. i dont give a shit about reality, about life. about this fear thats chasing me down. i dont fucking care about any of that. i like this little place we have created. so why? why are you doing this to me? fuck its not you. its everything. please hold me tight. take away this icy feeling. take away the gripping fear. i need you to take me to our heaven. and just hold my hand. please. now. please. forever. 


pearl. said...

you are a mystery, with every post it grows. i would love to know your story, what is behind your words. but sometimes a mystery is best kept a mystery. you inspire me.
Pearl xo

sanchez said...

I agree with pearl.
You inspire me.

and the words your write feel like the words I can't.
because I can't convey when I'm scared, or angry or uncertain in a way that seems raw and real.
All It sounds like is a small girl whining.

so I'm glad you wrote this.
but I wish you didn't have to.
because it feels absolutely horrible to feel this way.

sabine cara said...

i always think the good things are about me, and even if they're not, which they probably aren't, it makes my day.
xx scarzz

Athena. said...

i love you, i love you, i love you.
i love how we can all relate to this,
just, everything.

whirlwind said...

What a lovely post ♥