Saturday, March 13, 2010

that it might not be for a long, long time...

you stole a blue french horn for me.
'i would have stolen you a whole orchestra' 

i always cry in the lion king.
today i gave away an old barbie doll dress, and i felt really sad. 

i love holding hands with someone i love. i love starbucks. i love feeling happy because i thought of you. i love finding people who instantly make you smile without knowing it. i love hugs, i love hearing the words 'i miss you'. i love swimming, and i love guy friends. i love watching the sunset in silence with someone nice. i love abs. i love singing in my bedroom, and first kisses. i like long hot showers, and i love the air at five in the morning. apparently i seemed a little sad, distraught, maybe even worried in my last few posts. its not that im not happy, its just that im scared, in a very weird way. im scared of many things. things of love, and things of hate. and sometimes in life, you have to be scared. right? because i am really scared, im scared of how much i might like him. im scared of how much i judged them. and im scared of how much i need that part of my life. and right now,  i dont really know what to say. 


sanchez said...

I feel like you might just be me. (only about 2 weeks behind me)

It's scary really. I felt, and still feel the same way. What happens if it does? If it doesn't? If I get my hopes up. Should I get my hopes up? Why should i? But If I do...
and he doesn't like me

will I just fall apart?

sabine cara said...

cati, what the hell are you so scared of? :( Im worried you're going to like explode words one day !

Just go with instinct, I guess that's the best thing to do in these times, and keep pushing through, because when it's gone you won't even realise and you'll look back and be like, Oh it can't have been that bad, but then remember it was.

xx scarzz

Athena. said...

thanks so much, beautiful.
it means a lot.
on a happier note, my brother and i were having a how i met your mother marathon last night - hilarious :)

Tia in the Sky said...

ahh I love posts full of love!
and about the fear - it will happen, it will suck, but in the end it might just be worth it :)

Some Girl said...

I'm scared too. Scared about feeling too much and feeling too little and not feeling at all. Disney movies help.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel about being scared about how much you like someone, I'm dealing with that right now. It's a friend I never expected to like this much and I have no idea where it's going or if it might even turn into anything and it's the scariest thing ever but at the same time I don't want to let go of it