Friday, April 30, 2010

until i was twenty-five i thought the response to 'i love you' was 'oh crap'.

"weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart
weep little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start"
i guess i miss the person who i was, who i used to be. or something like that.
 its like, she seemed so brave, you know? she seemed so free spirited.
but life is just a little messed up like that i guess. right?
you know when you have a candle and it's about to burn out? all the wax is gone, usually melted onto the table, or on your fingertips, and its just this little wick in a metal case. every so often the light flickers and you think its about to go out, but somehow it stays lit. well thats kind of what my hearts doing to me at the moment. there are moments where i think i might just loose all hope, all the fight left in me. but i know these pretty amazing people, they keep me, breathing i guess? they remind me of all the good things in the world. of happiness and stuff like that. so im going to fight like hell to keep that candle lit. 

you are all so much more awesome than i could ever hope to be
love, catherine. 


Erimentha said...

:( aww sounds like a bad feeling.

but was a good post.

tell me more. . . im intrigued!


pearl. said...

mumford and sons have the best quotes. my mum and dad are seeing them at the enmore in sydney :O jealous!
i love your analogy with the candle wax, beautiful. i hope everything is ok,
Pearl xo

sabine cara said...

oooh, I really like this post!

I liked the way you describe it heaps... and I know what you mean.

but yet I'm glad you still explained it
xx scarzzz

~Abby~ said...

But you're light isn't out yet. Just remember, it burning, slowly and steadily; but it's still there, all the same.

Camelgirl said...

I reeeeallly love this post.
Like you're amazing, but this post is extra good.
I love the analogy.

Rachael Rose said...

awww... Im sorry... I know those feelings to well.. try taking a day or even an hour to surround yourself with pretty things, listen to your favorite songs and try to send out and soak up as much happiness as you can! What do you love? What are you most passionate about?? whatever it is, find it and immerse yourself into it! That's what Im trying to do.. You are awesome. If i knew you in real life I would come over and bake a cake with you or something. Hope you have a beautiful weekend!


{ Thy Lady } said...

this is such a heartfelt post. I can really relate to everything you've said and the way you said it was so perfect - the candle light everything is just exactly how my heart feels too. I hope things get better for you. I'm hoping for better days also. *hugs*


sanchez said...

This is actually such a beautiful way to describe that feeling. Your feeling. Because when i read
every so often the light flickers

I felt it. My heart flickered and I got scared.

"so dont go, take my love, i won't let you, i'm saying please don't go, dont go, take my love i wont let you go"

thats what your post reminded me of.

Athena. said...

i really needed this.
i'm fighting and i was losing but now i think that i can make it.
thankyou, beautiful.

lauren carney said...

cassie is such a babe.
i want to keep her!
oh and btw,
your blog is just delightful,
and i love the pretty imagery in each post.
tis quite uplifting!
thank-you so much for sharing your loveliness with the world!
have fun being wonderful!
x x

aamberr said...

aww, i love this post, so sweet!
i hope you get want you want some time soon :')
thankyou very much for the follow, i shall be following you back :D

Kipa said...

I'm glad you're deciding to fight :). I've been having a similar feeling lately, and your post inspired me. I have been gone for a while but I'm back and will continue reading your amazing blog :)