Saturday, July 3, 2010

because i have something worth living for.

I feel like I am forever blocking,
 never really shooting or reloading, you know?
I like Harry Potter. I like candle analogies. I like those times when you're standing in the rain, with the people you genuinely love. I like beating people. I like it at five am at sleepovers, where I go outside with someone  to talk, really actually talk (preferably while lying down on the cement path), while the sun is rising. I like it when guys daydream while they play with my hair. I like attention. I like people buying me coffee. I like girls that like abs and hip bones just as much as I do. I like that he likes me, even if I have no clue what to do about it. I like outdoor swimming pools in the middle of winter. I like those three people who I really need to talk to right now. I like laughing a lot. I like being understood, but I like it even more when  I am in such a good mood that I don't care what people say. I like that time in the middle of the night where I am overly energetic. 
I feel like, like I need to go for a long run, no matter how much it hurts. I feel like I need to run and run and run till my legs collapse beneath me. Sometimes, when I feel lonely, or scared, I imagine myself running away, not away from home, but from everything. I imagine myself on a rainy summer night, swinging to high on an old rusty swing. I feel like, you know after you've had a really long day, and you kind of just want to lie down, in complete silence? You don't feel like doing anything, you just want to be, kind of like how you feel when you're on a hammock, on a spring day. Well yeah, thats how I feel about ninety percent of the time now, but, you know, worse. And so I need to do something, something to awake me, awake my soul. For a while I thought about just saying yes, for a change. I imagined being in his arms. I just, fuck, I don't know. I really really really just need to feel comforted, to feel listened to. I need to need this blog. And right now, I don't.
Come stop your cryin'
and we'll be alright
Just take my hand, hold it tight.
I will protect from all around you, 
I will be here dont you cry.
For one so small, you seem so strong.
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm,
This bond between us cant be broken,
I will be here dont you cry

11 comments:

Spence. said...

Beautiful post Catherine (:
...I just noticed something but your post is marked saturday 3rd, but where I am it's friday 2nd... do you live in the future? :O or maybe a different time zone? tehe, my mind is blown! ;)

take care
http://www.simplyspence.blogspot.com/
x

sanchez said...

That song always reminds me of the cutest moment in tarzan. (Disney yay!)

Take your time and do what you need, have that sleepover, and go for a run (Do it for me, because I currently cannot run and its literally killing me). Or if you can run, walk, in a random direction, and just keep walking. Don't take your ipod, or bag or anything.

and I know I always say that you are... me.
that's weird. But I mean, we're in the same situations. Not exactly. But... yeah.

toothless.

I felt like I needed to smile, so I wrote toothless.

Zaira Mabel said...

I really love your posts, how you take all these thoughts and quotes and mix them all up to show whatever you want to express, your feelings, emotions. And i absolutely love that Tarzan image and the lyrics at the end, see? All this things and always end with something so nostalgic and beautiful

Zaira Mabel said...

I really love your posts, how you take all these thoughts and quotes and mix them all up to show whatever you want to express, your feelings, emotions. And i absolutely love that Tarzan image and the lyrics at the end, see? All this things and always end with something so nostalgic and beautiful

andie said...

your words always move me. you are an incredible writer.
I left you an award on my blog that I thought was perfect for you.
xo

libys11 said...

this post made me go awww.. i hope you're alright.. :)

Animated Confessions

Megan said...

I'm such a sucker for that song :)

Dandalily said...

as soon as i read the title i thought about harry potter. Are you exicted or what for November?

I really love your blog, i love being hit with everything that your feeling because in a way its sad and beatiful.

xo

Francesca said...

I hate when I really love a post but I don't have anything to say, maybe just because there's nothing left to say.
That's happening right now.

Scarlet-O said...

you are ridiculously cool. your blog is lovely. and girl, i need to be comforted too. we really all do. its natural.

xo
SO

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