epitome of emptiness.

And if the darkness is to keep us apart

And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

i find myself, wondering what i can do to wake myself up from the haze of materialism

it has become a part of me that i find repulsive in a way. 

i find myself trying to make others aware of the horrors

while i become part of the consumer generation

i feel like i should be doing so much more

and yet i feel like such an insignificant inflection on the world

and i get so caught up in it. 

i want to feel the pain

 of the truest love imaginable

i want to be needed. 

its love, its not santa claus 

sometimes it hits me at night, this is my life, and i can do whatever i want. 

what a whiney post :) sorry guys, i love you all

and i especially love my friend mary because she is

awesome, and she always understands me

even if we never tell each other everything

we are just plain awesome. and i hate her so much

that i love her lots. (ish)